saying “goodbye” 28 March 2009

this is the song that will always bring tears to my eyes. a great love that was lost.

Babe, I’m leaving
I must be on my way
The time is drawing near
My train is going
I see it in your eyes
The love, the need, your tears
But I’ll be lonely without you
And I’ll need your love to see me through
So please believe me
My heart is in your hands
I’ll be missing you

‘Cause you know it’s you, babe
Whenever I get weary
And I’ve had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it’s you, babe
Giving me the courage
And the strength I need
Please believe that it’s true
Babe, I love you

Babe, I’m leaving
I’ll say it once again
And somehow try to smile
I know the feeling we’re trying to forget
If only for awhile
‘Cause I’ll be lonely without you
And I’ll need your love to see me through
Please believe me
My heart is in your hands
‘Cause I’ll be missing you

Babe, I love you

of friendship and broken hearts 28 March 2009

i found out today that my ex-boyfie-turned-male best friend’s marriage didn’t work out. it was annulled just two years after the wedding in january 2003.

i felt immense sadness when i learned about it. all this time, i’d been imagining him to be happily married to a wonderful woman with probably one or two kids already. gah. life can suck sometimes.

i do find it strange, however, that i’ve been thinking about him a lot these past few weeks. and i remember dreaming about him a couple of times last year. but i restrained myself from trying to contact him because i’d promised myself to stay out of the picture. were those dreams signs that he needed me? was i wrong in cutting off all contact from him?

i feel like crying right now. for a marriage that ended. for two broken hearts. for a broken family. for a kid left trying to understand why mama and papa aren’t together anymore. for a friendship that was lost.

i missed having him in my life all these years. he was the soul mate that was not meant to be. he will always be someone who i’ll hold dear to my heart.

disappointment 2 May 2008

something that i was looking forward to very much didn’t pan out as planned. it is still going to happen although there’s going to be a few weeks of delay. but i can’t shake off the feeling of letdown until now. i’m usually a perky person but these past few days i’ve been nothing but a big sourpuss. i don’t like feeling this way! i really need to shake this off!!!

keeping it real 25 April 2008

i have this acquaintance who’s forever declaring to the world that she’s a health buff. she always makes it a point to enumerate everything she does to keep fit: she goes to the gym at least four times a week, plays sports regularly, does boxing, rarely eats pork, has her body fat analyzed every 2 weeks and panics if she gains even a pound. i applaud her for her efforts and she does look trim. but she’s always fishing for compliments on her thinness. like she’ll say she’s gained weight and her tummy or arms have gotten bigger when in fact she’s skinny as ever. and i really don’t agree with her tagging herself as the ultimate health buff. you see, she smokes. a lot. it’s something she can’t kick. she puffs every chance she gets. plus she loves to party and get plastered. i don’t understand how a person can have enough discipline to work out as much as she does can’t get up enough resolution to rid herself of some of the worst habits ever.

my point is, if you truly value your health and you want people to sincerely admire you for it, stop smoking and cut down on the booze.

what is love? 13 April 2008

if you google this question, you’d probably get a million hits or more. i have my own ideas of what love is but i’ll let shakespeare say it as he did in sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

on contentment 11 April 2008

it’s been said, “be careful what you wish for…”

while others have said, “people always want what they can’t have.”

there’s also “you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”

and that “we should make the most of what we’ve got.”

if we stop and think about it, even if we can’t have everything we want, appreciation and gratitude for what we do have in the here and now can make us feel like we do have it all.

stop dragging everyone down 9 April 2008

i hate pessimism, negativism. i feel it drags me down. i hate it when people around me are negative or pessimistic. you know, life’s hard enough as it is. why face it with so much gloom and doom? i want to live life with a brighter outlook. but i’m not being unrealistic. i’m perfectly aware that things can go wrong, that things don’t necessarily work out the way i want it to. so why should i spend my time worrying about it when it hasn’t even happened yet? happiness merely comes in moments. grab it, savor it, revel in it while it’s there. there’ll be time enough for crying when it’s gone.